Are you LISTENING?

Listening is a simple act we can offer to others, yet often we merely appear to be listening. We might be daydreaming, planning our response, or judging while someone speaks. These errors indicate that we're not truly hearing what the other person is saying. Without active listening, it's challenging to understand a person's true feelings and thoughts, which prevents engaging conversations where people feel respected—because you listened. Our own agendas often hinder us from being good listeners. By now, in 2021, we should be able to listen to our friends, family, and colleagues. We need to grasp what the person is expressing, truly listen to their emotions, and communicate with them. We all need someone in our lives who will listen to our feelings, whether they're positive or negative. Many of us just "listen," and I insist that's no longer sufficient. In life, we experience numerous emotions, many imagined, but we need to discuss them and have someone genuinely listen and understand how we feel. Yes, you can pay to sit with a stranger (no offense to therapy) and have them listen, but I want this blog to focus on helping each other. Listening isn't difficult; it just might require some practice. We don't know everyone's daily struggles, and if we can help by simply listening to their pain or heartache, it makes a significant difference. Positive psychology research shows that pleasant social interactions enhance our well-being and life satisfaction. One of the simplest ways to boost our well-being is through genuine listening. Personally, I rarely express myself when upset (something I'm working on) because I don't want to burden anyone. However, I do have people in my life who truly listen and provide thoughtful feedback without judgment. (shout out to you all) It's challenging to discuss your feelings, especially with an ego (I'm trying to overcome mine), but it's essential! We must open up, communicate, acknowledge others' feelings, and show compassion and empathy... truly listen. Listening also helps you feel more comfortable talking to others, as you'll find ease in having listened thoughtfully to someone else. It fosters self-awareness (see below). I discovered a helpful acronym by Julian Treasure called RASA (meaning "juice" or "essence" in Sanskrit), outlining his steps for active listening. RASA stands for:

Receive. Appreciate. Summarize. Ask.

Let's pause here... read this acronym and really let it sink in.... OK... let's keep reading!

When we listen attentively to others, they begin to listen to themselves more closely, becoming aware of their thoughts and emotions (Rogers & Farson, 1957). By honing your listening abilities, you can help your friends and colleagues achieve greater self-awareness as well. This practice also increases the likelihood of enhancing and strengthening these relationships, which can be fulfilling for our own needs. (I can't stress this enough - so TRUE)! The next time you engage in a conversation, be sure to explore the R.A.S.A of meaningful dialogue. By doing so, you will start to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and others. Many of you might be surprised by the results if you apply R.A.S.A while listening. You might find yourself thinking, “OH, that's what you mean!!” “I get it” !! How refreshing it is to truly understand someone, while simultaneously opening your heart to feel more, to be more compassionate and appreciative. The person speaking to you is clearly someone you care about or is significant in your life, so imagine how beneficial it would be to employ these active techniques! EUREKA! I understand you! As I often say, none of us are perfect; believe me, I strive every day to be the best I can for myself and others (which is why I write to you all). We can only progress step by step day by day, believing in the good we all have to offer. Believe in supporting each other through both the good and bad times. Truly comprehend the other person and their emotions, even if what they express seems irrational or nonsensical to you. It makes sense to them, so refrain from judging their feelings... appreciate and inquire! Let's practice R.A.S.A and in doing so, we take another step towards making our lives wonderful and the lives of our loved ones beautiful.

MUCH LOVE

XOXO

"Active listening is a powerful growth technique!”

- Julian Treasure