Do You See Me? – The Quiet Resilience of Women

Do you ever feel like you’re on a hamster wheel—constantly running in circles but getting nowhere?

As I navigate my journey as a businesswoman, fiancée, stepmom, and the countless other roles I take on daily, I often pause and wonder: How the hell do I do it all? Are there other women out there like me? Am I just a control freak, or have we been quietly conditioned to believe that we have to do everything? This isn’t just about multitasking. It’s about a deep, often unspoken pressure to carry the emotional load, anticipate everyone’s needs, show up with a smile—even when we’re falling apart inside. I want to talk about that. About how women carry the weight of everyday life and how we can start showing up for each other, not just for everyone else.

The other day, I saw a reel on Instagram (yes, I reposted it). It spoke about how many women cry in their cars, in the bathroom, or in bed—and then get up, fix their mascara, force a smile, and carry on like everything’s okay. It really resonated with me as I’ve done that more times than I can count. But here’s the thing: Why are we like this? Why are we programmed to suppress our emotions, to push past exhaustion, to never ask for help—even when we’re drowning? Why is vulnerability seen as weakness, when it’s actually the bravest thing we can offer?

I’m a great example; I constantly push myself to the limit “getting everything done” for everyone else. I rarely speak up when something’s bothering me, because I often feel unheard—or worse, like I’m being “too much.” I don’t ask for help, because I’ve lived most of my life depending solely on myself. It's a survival skill I’m proud of—but it comes at a cost. And I know I’m not alone. I’ve listened to so many women talk about being these same situations and or characteristics. So, what do we do? We overcompensate. We give more. We do more. We keep everyone else happy. And then we cry in private, wondering why no one sees us.

It’s not your imagination— According to a study by the United Nations, women perform 2.5 times more unpaid care and domestic work than men (this is not a dig at men). Whether it’s managing households, caring for children, planning holidays, or offering emotional support—women are often the default caretakers while working a full-time job while be expected to work like they don't have a family and parent like they don't have a job. From a young age, girls are socialized to be helpers, nurturers, peacekeepers. We’re praised for being “good” and “selfless,” and we internalize that. So, we grow up believing that if something needs doing, we should just handle it. And if we don’t? We feel guilty. But here’s the truth: You’re not here to carry the world on your back. You’re not here to fix everyone. You’re allowed to take up space. You're allowed to rest.

This Isn’t About Blame

Let me also say this: This isn’t about blaming men. I’m not here to criticize how men handle stress or emotion. In fact, I have a loving and supportive fiancé who truly wants to understand me, and I know many amazing men who show up for their families and partners every single day. But for so many women, the weight we carry isn’t visible—not because our partners don’t care, but because we’ve become experts at hiding it. This isn’t about comparison. It’s about compassion—for ourselves, first and foremost.

So how do we reprogram ourselves?

 We start small. We let go of the myth that we have to be everything to everyone. We release the guilt around asking for help. We stop glorifying burnout as success. Let someone else handle it. And if they mess up? Oh Well. It starts with noticing. Notice when you feel overstimulated, tense, or on the verge of tears. That’s your body whispering, “Enough.” Sometimes you don’t need to talk or vent or scream—you just need to pause and breathe. We also need to find small rituals to ground ourselves. For me, I used to color when I was overwhelmed (and I need to start again). Journaling can be a powerful outlet too. Writing gives shape to the thoughts we bury. It makes them real—and then, it sets us free.

You Are Not Alone. You are not just your titles. You are not just what you do for others. You are not selfish for wanting more ease. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to feel. Let others be who they are. Stop trying to fix people by giving away your light. Stop waiting for someone else to see your worth—see it yourself first. I know the world feels intense. And yes, we're all in it, fighting through it. But I just want to make sure the ladies—the warriors, the lovers, the feelers, the doers—know that you are seen. You are valued. You are deeply loved. So let’s start showing up for ourselves—one small step at a time. Start by doing a little less. Start by choosing you.

 MUCH Love,

Amanda