The desire to be perfect burdens many people and ironically dooms them to unhappiness. We as a society are taught at a very young age that we have to look a certain way, act a certain way, and achieve certain things to achieve what is called “perfect.” This is where I come in, I am here to say fuck society (in a nice way) and what it thinks. In our culture, we move relentlessly toward greater emphasis on achievement and goal orientation. When we do so, we seem to lose capacity for wonder and awe. Could you imagine looking at a rainbow and saying, “one of the colors isn’t perfect.” Not only is that ridiculous, but we would be ruining the spectacular moment. Yet that is exactly what we do when we judge ourselves.
As a Type (A) personality I always strived to be “perfect” in relationships, friendships, and my career. I always wanted to be the best at everything. When I was a year into my yoga practice that all changed. Yoga made me realize that it is ok to have faults, it is ok to be yourself regardless of what others think. It helped me realize that nothing on this earth is perfect. It was a hard transition for me though, but I think it was a lot harder for the people around me. Many that are close to me consider me to be a happy person and just go with the flow type of girl. So when I let my imperfections out, they were like what is wrong with Amanda?? I was always very cautious when speaking out of tongue with others, I didn’t want to ever cause a problem or show I was hurting, or needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t just ask for help from anyone, because that would be me being imperfect. I do struggle with that slightly to this day, which is ok as everything is a process and there is no timeline. I’m not the easiest person to deal with when I am stressed or struggling with asking for help, but that is my imperfection and the people around me need to understand that. It doesn’t make me a bad person, it is just one of my imperfections and that is ok. The acknowledgement of those moments are what counts and how you are able to stay present. If you find that people around you are not ok with your imperfections that is ok as well, it doesn’t make you a bad person it just means they are not put here to be on your journey. Our flaws are what make us unique good or bad, it makes us human. My perfection issues were internal, but I know a lot of people that suffer with trying to be perfect on the outside. They see the “perfect” model in the magazines and on social media and strive for that, change everything about them physically and try to keep up with the Jones’s. That really tugs on my heart strings, I just want to shake them and tell them they are beautiful just the way they are. The photo I posted below of myself is imperfect ME... no make-up, just woke up, haven’t washed my hair in two days, not sure if I even have deodorant on. ;) I posted it as I want to express there are certain things about ourselves that we don’t like and I don’t like some things in that photo, but we need to embrace each one, show them love, and be proud of them! You will see your heart open up to them and one day you won’t even be bothered anymore. The other day I used one of thoseface apps that people have been using on Instagram to change their face, hair, teeth etc. I was shocked what I ended up looking like, I kind of ended up looking like a Disney character. I posted the photo as I wanted to show people that we need to stop with the filters, we need to embrace how we look physically. We should never compare ourselves to anyone or whatever is on social media. We need to be real, which means imperfect. I enjoy being imperfect and think it is quiet cool as it makes you the person you truly are. We need to fight more for our imperfections, they need love too! When I started this blog, I was upset with myself because my grammar was (still is) bad in my posts. Here comes type (A) Amanda… I actually sent my 1st blog to someone to proofread and help me with the grammar. In my head it had to be perfect, people are reading this and I didn’t want to look stupid. I didn’t send my second blog in to get corrected, after I published it I received a lot of messages about how terrible the writing was and the grammar was even worse. I was so upset. I sat back took a breath (thank you yoga) and thought to myself… screw you guys! (LOL). From that point on I wrote all of my blogs with incorrect grammar, because I know they aren’t perfect and I need to stop trying to make it perfect, and again I am not perfect. So now I just write, I have run on sentences, commas everywhere, spelling off and I don’t care as my blogs are to help others and that is all that matters.
I have found over the years that the closest thing to perfection is in the ability to be fully present. That most strive for perfection because they feel like they aren’t enough, believe me I get it I was there myself. But you are enough, I am enough, we are enough and if the enlightenment of that can be associated with the present day we will find that perfect is actually just nonsense that we put in our minds. When we feed the ego we are making things more toxic for ourselves, because the perfect thoughts we are feeding the ego don’t even make sense. The ego will take that information and cause emotions that actually don’t exist and create unhappiness. Let’s free ourselves, let’s be ok with our imperfections, and let’s be ok with what others think of us, let’s shine light on others imperfections to help them navigate. Let’s stay present and continue to follow the path of enlightenment on our journey. When we leave all these issues in the past, we are able to choose the correct path to better ourselves for what lies ahead.
P.S. Your future will not be perfect!
Much Love, XOXO