Gratitude Shines Differently

For me personally, gratitude has never been about performing or proving something. When I give, I don’t expect a thank you at all. I give because my soul is a giver. If I can put a smile on someone’s face for even five seconds, that’s enough for me. My gratitude is in the act itself, not in needing it recognized. And yet, I’ve often been told I’m “Ungrateful” — not because I don’t say thank you, but because I don’t say it the way someone else wants me to. Sometimes people expect over-the-top appreciation, repeated again and again, as if gratitude only counts when it looks a certain way. But when “thank you” becomes a demand, it can lose its meaning. It can even get to the point where you don’t want to say it at all — not because you aren’t thankful, but because it feels like it’s being held over your head.

I used to fall into that trap. I was a people-pleaser to the core. I always said “yes” when I wanted to say “no.” I always gave thanks in the exact way people wanted me to, even if it felt forced. And on the surface, that probably made me look agreeable, polite, even grateful. But underneath, it was dimming my light. It got to the point where I didn’t even know who I was anymore. My identity wasn’t my own — it was wrapped up in keeping everyone else comfortable. If you’ve read my book, you know that shift was one of the biggest journeys of my life. I reached a place where I realized I couldn’t keep living like that. I had to stop handing away my shine to keep others happy. I had to take it back. And when I did, everything changed.

Now, I’m not saying that I became rude, selfish, or ungrateful. Quite the opposite. In reclaiming myself, I’ve been able to show more genuine love, more heartfelt gratitude, and more compassion than I ever could when I was stuck in people-pleasing. The difference is, it’s authentic now. It may not look like the way others expect me to show thanks — but I know in my heart it’s real, it’s sincere, and it’s the best way for both them and me. We all need to find what works best for us. Gratitude isn’t one-size-fits-all. What matters is that it comes from a true place, not a forced one. When we honor the way gratitude naturally flows through us, it becomes more powerful — and it nourishes both the giver and the receiver.

That’s the part so many of us miss. We are all very different humans. We carry different beliefs, different perspectives, different ways of showing love, and different ways of showing gratitude. And that is okay. Gratitude doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. For some, it’s verbal — expressed openly and often. For others, it’s quieter — shown in actions, presence, or a simple willingness to give without needing acknowledgment. None of these ways are wrong. What becomes wrong is when we judge each other harshly, or worse, try to shame someone for not expressing it the way we would have. That’s not gratitude — that’s control. What I see missing in the world today is a willingness to let people be who they are without backlash. We don’t have to agree on everything — in fact, we never will. But that doesn’t mean we need to attack, divide, or belittle. We can choose to respect each other, even in our differences. Gratitude should never be used as a weapon against someone, or as a measuring stick for their worth. It should be a posture of the heart — a way of noticing the blessings around us and honoring them in whatever way feels real. And this doesn’t stop with gratitude. It applies to life itself. We live in a world where judgment, anger, and even violence is becoming the go-to responses when people don’t align. But that can’t be the way forward. We all deserve a safe, beautiful place to live in. We all deserve the freedom to be ourselves without fear of being torn down for it. Respecting differences doesn’t mean you have to agree — it just means you understand that someone else has the right to their own path, just as much as you do.

I write this in remembrance of Charlie Kirk. Not because of his politics, not because of what he preached or whether anyone agreed with him, but because he was a human being whose life was taken for simply having a voice. That should never happen to anyone. Every single person — no matter their beliefs, background, or opinions — deserves the chance to live their life freely and safely. It is okay to feel how you feel. It is okay to be who you are. It is okay to be all of you. What isn’t okay is to take someone’s life for it, or to make another person feel awful for not doing things your way.

At the end of the day, my heart is for all humans. I don’t care what side you’re on, what label you carry, or what beliefs you hold — I want people to be happy, safe, respected, and free. That’s the world I want to live in. That’s the world I want to help create.

We can all do better. We can rise above judgment, above control, above hate. We can choose gratitude for the blessings we have, compassion for the people around us, and respect for differences we may never fully understand. Because at the end of the day, gratitude isn’t about sameness — it’s about love. And if we really want to make this world better, it starts with how we treat each other.