Gratitude Shines Differently

For me personally, gratitude has never been about performing or proving something. When I give, I don’t expect a thank you at all. I give because my soul is a giver. If I can put a smile on someone’s face for even five seconds, that’s enough for me. My gratitude is in the act itself, not in needing it recognized. Sometimes people expect over-the-top appreciation, repeated again and again, as if gratitude only counts when it looks a certain way. But when “thank you” becomes a demand, it can lose its meaning. It can even get to the point where you don’t want to say it at all not because you aren’t thankful, but because it feels like it’s being held over your head.

I used to fall into that trap. I was a people-pleaser to the core. I always said “yes” when I wanted to say “no.” I always gave thanks in the exact way people wanted me to, even if it felt forced. And on the surface, that probably made me look agreeable, polite, even grateful. But underneath, it was dimming my light. It got to the point where I didn’t even know who I was anymore. My identity wasn’t my own it was wrapped up in keeping everyone else comfortable. If you’ve read my book, you know that shift was one of the biggest journeys of my life. I reached a place where I realized I couldn’t keep living like that. I had to stop handing away my shine to keep others happy. I had to take it back. And when I did, everything changed.

Now, I’m not saying that I became rude, selfish, or ungrateful. Quite the opposite. In reclaiming myself, I’ve been able to show more genuine love, more heartfelt gratitude, and more compassion than I ever could when I was stuck in people-pleasing. The difference is, it’s authentic now. It may not look like the way others expect me to show thanks but I know in my heart it’s real, it’s sincere, and it’s the best way for both them and me. We all need to find what works best for us. Gratitude isn’t one-size-fits-all. What matters is that it comes from a true place, not a forced one.

That’s the part so many of us miss. We are all very different humans. We carry different beliefs, different perspectives, different ways of showing love, and different ways of showing gratitude. And that is okay. Gratitude doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. For some, it’s verbal expressed openly and often. For others, it’s quieter shown in actions, presence, or a simple willingness to give without needing acknowledgment. None of these ways are wrong. What becomes wrong is when we judge each other harshly, or worse, try to shame someone for not expressing it the way we would have. That’s not gratitude that’s control. What I see missing in the world today is a willingness to let people be who they are without backlash. We don’t have to agree on everything in fact, we never will. But that doesn’t mean we need to attack, divide, or belittle. We can choose to respect each other, even in our differences. Gratitude should never be used as a weapon against someone, or as a measuring stick for their worth. It should be a posture of the heart a way of noticing the blessings around us and honoring them in whatever way feels real.

At the end of the day, let your thankfulness look and feel the way your soul tells you. Be honest with yourself, honor every blessing big or small, and trust that when your heart leads, your actions naturally reflect your appreciation. I’m proud of the way my gratitude shows up in how I love, support, and move through the world. That light touches others more than we realize. And maybe, by being true to ourselves, we’ll inspire others to look within, find their shine, and recognize the blessings they carry too.

Because at the end of the day, gratitude isn’t about sameness, it’s about love. And if we really want to make this world better, it starts with

how we treat each other. Happy Thanksgiving!