Achieving ACCEPTANCE!

Acceptance often receives a negative perception, frequently mistaken for resignation, defeat, or, even worse, total surrender. However, acceptance is a soothing feeling towards your reality, a transformation where struggle fades away and clarity emerges. Today, I read a book titled: “The Art of Power & Acceptance” by Ashley Davis Bush. It was an excellent read, and I wanted to share my EXPERIENCE with all of you regarding acceptance.

We've all faced struggles, and I certainly have. We resist challenges because we view them as threats, and we instinctively fight them with all we have, inadvertently worsening the situation. Our bodies react with a fight or flight response, often causing us more harm than the original problem. It sounds quite absurd, doesn't it? We're inflicting more harm on ourselves! So, where do we begin? We start with ourselves, because without reaching a point of acceptance, we can't move forward. Whether it's accepting another person, a situation, or something from the past, acceptance starts with your feelings about the matter and, most importantly, how you treat yourself. When you show yourself compassion, you find it easier to accept reality. I struggled with self-compassion; I was always empathetic towards others but harsh on myself. Being on my own, I was determined to succeed but ended up harming myself. It was about a year into my yoga practice, coupled with reading, that I realized the pain I was causing myself. I began with a book on yoga (featured in my reading is enlightenment blog), and as I delved into its content, it expanded my mental and spiritual understanding. It wasn't just about the postures but about the mind and the work we need to do for ourselves. “With acceptance, even though nothing changes, everything changes.”

The Latin root of the word "accept" means "to take toward yourself." Some might think, "So, Amanda, are you saying I should just accept that I dislike my job, or that I’m in debt, or in a bad relationship?" NO, that’s not my point. In these cases, you need to learn how to accept, but in the right way. This is where ACT comes into play (exercise in the book). ACT stands for Acknowledge, Connect, Talk Kindly. Let’s look at the example "I hate my job." Acknowledge: disliking your job.

Connect: know there are so many people out there that have the same feeling.

Speak Kindly: address yourself in the third person, reassuring that everything will be fine, and cultivate positive thoughts to transform your feelings. You might be thinking, "Is she dreaming?" But if you practice ACT whenever you're facing challenges, it will aid in acceptance, leading to positivity and good outcomes (it truly works). This exercise is also a form of self-compassion. Ending the exercise by speaking kindly to yourself boosts your self-compassion. It's perfectly okay to be kind to yourself and assure yourself that everything will be alright. Compassion stems from our natural ability to love others. Self-compassion is directing that loving attention inward. Consistent practice strengthens this habit over time, making self-compassion your default response, preventing struggles or feelings of being stuck. It's not easy; much like when I started yoga, I couldn't even touch my toes and felt frustrated. I wanted to master it immediately. It took time to realize that practice is key to achieving what you desire for your mind, body, and soul. Accepting yourself is a dynamic process, a unique relationship with yourself. You exist in this moment in history as a one-of-a-kind combination of DNA. You are as unique as a snowflake, irreplaceable. There has never been, nor will there ever be, another like you at this moment. Embrace that! As we journey towards self-acceptance, we must also embrace the acceptance of others and circumstances. Sometimes, you'll be hurt by someone. I've been there, and before reading this book, I would hold grudges and refuse to forgive (typical Italian). Forgiving those who hurt me seemed foolish. Then I realized, after reading several books, that hurt people hurt people. When someone is unhappy with themselves, they project it onto others, unfortunately. We must understand that holding grudges only harms us more. We need to recognize that every human across every culture simply longs to be loved. Thus, we should be grateful to everyone. When someone challenges or hurts you, try to see beyond their actions, understanding that their behavior likely stems from their own pain (often unrelated to you). If you can view that person with compassion, even in their negative state towards you, you've achieved self-compassion. I'm not suggesting you remain in harmful relationships or situations. I'm advocating for wishing others well, as in the Buddhist practice of metta bhavana, which involves daily wishing well to others. I encourage you all to spend five quiet minutes each morning being grateful for:

1. Yourself

2. A loved one

3. A stranger you came in counter with the previous day

4. Someone you are in conflict with

5. All beings all over the world.

At each stage, express your intentions to that person or those people. Some may need peace, others may need love, and some may require kindness. Keep your eyes closed throughout this process, and I assure you, it will leave you feeling incredible. Moreover, they will sense that energy in the universe. You will be filled with immense love and compassion for yourself and others, opening up a world of opportunities and EXPERIENCES. Acceptance is a part of the journey; we just need to accept it. Allowing the process of acceptance doesn't mean you actually like what you're accepting, but it means you can relax into the moment without struggle. When you genuinely let it be, with compassion, you gain the freedom to look toward the future.

MUCH LOVE

XOXO

The Art & Power of Acceptance: Ashley Davis Bush (Must READ)